{"product_id":"internet-gov-crest-graphic-sweatshirt-typographic-back-text-gray-crewneck","title":"PRE-ORDER — Limited Stock — internet.gov Sweatshirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e📦 PRE-ORDER — Limited Stock — Ships in 10–14 Business Days\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYour payment is processed immediately and funds the production of your order. Each item is printed and fulfilled on demand — once your order is placed, it goes straight into production and ships directly to you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLadies and gentlemen... internet.gov presents the ultimate containment vessel for you and all your schizophrenic friends. Infused with evil, unholy energy, this heavy-blend sweatshirt isn't just streetwear—it's wearable ritual designed to help make your soul more attractive to Lucifer himself.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eThe Energy \u0026amp; Design\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Front:\u003c\/strong\u003e Stamped with \"internet.gov\" and embedded with the Sigil of Agares—summoning Solomon's favorite friend.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Back:\u003c\/strong\u003e Inscribed with your favorite creator's tagline.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch2\u003eCraftsmanship \u0026amp; Construction\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHeavyweight Build:\u003c\/strong\u003e Heavy-duty, dense cotton-poly blend that shields against the cold void while holding its shape through every cycle.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePlush Interior:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ultra-soft, brushed fleece inner lining providing absurd comfort during endless binge sessions.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eRitual-Grade Durability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Double-needle stitching and air-jet spun yarn engineered to resist pilling, wear, and spiritual decay.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch2\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eMachine wash cold inside out with like colors. Tumble dry low. Do not allow the snake to spit its tail out its mouth.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615691123,"sku":"19637312633061748649","price":41.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615723891,"sku":"27962513697166522290","price":41.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615756659,"sku":"31101514119886102236","price":41.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615789427,"sku":"25854792729918208317","price":41.53,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615822195,"sku":"90118466603306737901","price":46.07,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615854963,"sku":"72358509366183066563","price":48.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615887731,"sku":"23619137931830406299","price":52.98,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"5XL \/ Sport Grey","offer_id":64603615920499,"sku":"46980850671274669721","price":53.48,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1019\/1565\/6563\/files\/710763847984261822_2048_b7f6335e-459a-40e6-85ce-f9534da7cff5.jpg?v=1788556468","url":"https:\/\/internetdotgov.org\/products\/internet-gov-crest-graphic-sweatshirt-typographic-back-text-gray-crewneck","provider":"internet.gov shop","version":"1.0","type":"link"}